Healing-A Nessian Fic
by rowaelinfeyrhys
Summary: This is an eventual Nessian fic. It takes place right after ACOMAF and continues from there but from the POVs of Nesta and Cassian. Some mild language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys, this is my first fanfic, so review and let me know. I'm really excited for ACOWAR and I know that we're close, but I'm going to post this anyway and see what happens. Enjoy.**

 **Nesta POV**

Pacing around like the caged tiger I was, I glanced toward the bed. Elain had buried her face in the fluffy pillow. We had both spent the last month in this room, adjusting to our new Fae bodies. I nearly spit, thinking of the creatures we had become. My rage, quick to ignite, again flared. As my pace quickened, I tripped over my new limbs, now sprawled on the floor. Elain spared me a concerned glance before once again burying her face in the pillow. This had not been infrequent recently. I nearly growled, although I froze at the light knock on the door of the bedroom. We hadn't interacted with anyone and it seemed that the others had known how we felt as we hadn't been disturbed, or maybe they didn't care what happened to us a small part of me thought. Food had appeared inside our room every day, and everything we could have possibly needed had been in the surprisingly lavish bedroom.

A sweet voice called softly into the room "Nesta, Elain, I was wondering if you wanted to join us for dinner?" The voice, which I recognized as the girl named Mor's, seemed slightly hesitant. I sighed. To be honest with myself, I had been hiding from the others, but it seemed like it was time to step out of this room and face the world. I glanced at Elain who had sat up and was staring at the door with a conflicted face before longing flashed across it.

"Ok" I called simply to Mor.

Her voice, toned with surprise and delight, answered "Great! Dinner in an hour."

 **Cassian POV**

I lay face down on my bed letting my thoughts wander. However, more often than not, they would return to my shredded wings. I am Illyrian, my wings are my everything. I once again try to console myself, it was to save Azriel, they might heal… But then everything went to hell again. Azriel might not live, Feyre had been taken to the damned spring court, and Nesta… and Elain a small part of my mind chimed in. Was she okay? I hadn't left my room for a month since we came back. I had locked myself in despite the concerned queries of my friends. I hadn't answered any of the questions asked through the door. I could hear the worry in their voices. A small part of me was disappointed that the voice was never Nesta's. I didn't know how she was feeling, I didn't know how Azriel was, I didn't know what had happened to Feyre in the time I was in here. That was the down side to my isolation, I didn't know what was going on in the world, especially at the brink of war. A gentle knock was placed on my door, like many of the last month. Prepared to ignore it, I was surprised when instead of concerned questions, Mor's sweet voice took command "Cas, I know you're in there even if you don't answer. Will you come have dinner with all of us?" At my hesitation she softly consoled me, as if sensing my worries.

"Cas, we all love you, wings or not. We love you for who you are."

Hesitatingly she continued, as if wondering whether to say it or not, "We're all worried about you. Will you come to dinner once so that we can see if you're okay?" I could hear her shifting from foot to foot outside my door, as if wondering whether she had said too much. After a few minutes, I hear her sigh and start turning away from my door. I can't bear to hear the strain in her voice, I can't bear to stay locked away like a coward.

So I simply rasped "Ok." I wasn't sure if she heard, soft as my voice was from disuse, but she paused and came back to stand in front of my door.

"Thank you Cassian" she whispered, sounding like she was holding back tears.

 **Nesta POV**

An hour later, Elain and I both showered and standing in clean clothes cautiously creaked open the door. No one was in the hall, so we wandered around until we found Mor and Rhysand in the dining room. They had been conversing in low, subdued tones, but they abruptly stopped when they sensed us. Mor's face split into a grin and I would have believed that she had no worries had her eyes not held a great weight and sorrow. I stuck out my hand, not sure how to greet her, but she ignored it and pulled me into a warm embrace. I stiffened, before remembering that Feyre had trusted these people. Despite myself, I relaxed a bit in her embrace. Once she had stepped back from hugging me, then Elain, I shifted my gaze to Rhysand. Feyre's lover, her mate. I would have hissed at him for letting my younger sister be taken away if he hadn't looked weighed down with grief and guilt. It was only then I realized that I had neglected her for so many years, letting her provide for the family. Rhysand stuck out his hand, snapping me out of my thoughts. After both Elain and I shook it, Mor pressed glasses of deep red wine into our hands.

"You probably have a lot of questions for us," she said.

"Where is Feyre?" I blurted without thinking. Mor's eyes shot to Rhysand as his seemed to slump at my question. Mor slowly explained where she was, what had happened to Feyre. She explained about Amarantha, Hybern, and all the sacrifices that had been made by my sister, my incredibly strong, brave sister. With every word, Rhysand seemed to slump more and more, eventually looking like he just wanted to disappear. We sat for a few minutes in silence until and small figure clad in gray prowled in. Power seemed to radiate from her, ancient and cunning. Mor introduced her as Amren, explaining how both Amren and herself were part of Rhysand's Inner Circle. When she explained how Cassian and Azriel fit in, my head snapped up, remembering the two warriors I had overlooked. They had been hurt, I suddenly remembered. I was about to open my mouth to ask if they had healed when I heard two sets of grounded footsteps coming slowly down the hall. The two massive Illyrian warriors appeared in the doorway. Azriel looked mostly healthy, if not a little weaker than usual. However, there was a deep sorrow in his eyes, deeper than before. Cassian… he looked like someone had drained the will to live from him. And his wings. They were shredded. Open cuts lined them, and though they were bandaged, blood had seeped out. They drooped behind him, as if Cassian were trying to hide his wings from us.

 **Mor POV**

The mood was incredibly tense when we sat down to dinner. Nothing like the laughter filled meals of past. Nothing like when Feyre was here, when Rhys looked like he was complete. I wasn't sure if this change in mood was because of Feyre's sisters, Cassian, or just the impact of Hybern. I tried to lighten the mood with jokes and stories, but Rhys didn't look present, Nesta sat stiffly, and Elain only looked down at the food she had barely touched, her discomfort with us apparent. Azriel attempted to help my efforts and Amren was uncharacteristically quiet, her eyes darting between those assembled. But Cassian of all people... he just stared unseeingly at his plate, pushing his food around like Amren. He used to be full of laughter and endlessly teasing. I wondered if the King of Hybern realized that by taking his wings, he had taken something more from Cassian. Somehow, we got through the meal, then sat at the table in an unbreakable silence until eventually Az suggested turning in for the night. As everyone filed out, I grabbed Rhys' arm. Once they were all gone, I turned to him.

"Talk to Cassian, Rhys. Help him figure it out. Maybe - maybe it'll help you too."

Rhys only nodded and turned away, hands in pockets, head down. My heart cracked. While Rhys had tried to act composed the last month, an undeniable change had come over him. The King of Hybern had broken us all more thoroughly than he realized.

 **Rhysand POV**

I walked slowly through the House of Wind, heading towards Cassian's room. I knocked on his door before squaring my shoulders. He needed to see me strong and coping to believe that he could heal. I just hope he hadn't noticed how absent I was at dinner. The meal had overwhelmed me, reminding me of meals with Feyre, happy, filled with the love and joy I had only achieved once in 500 years; when she was by my side. I hadn't been able to communicate with her except for bursts of feeling over the bond. While the King of Hybern hadn't broken the bond, he had weakened it considerable. At least it was better than nothing.

I banished the thoughts from my mind and my face, as Cassian's now weak voice called out "Who is it?"

I remembered how strong and teasing his voice used to be. Now he sounded gone. As stoically as I could, I answered "Rhys".

"Are you going to pity me? Or ask me what I need or why I'm so down?" he answered back. Now he sounded a little more like himself, it was a start.

"Only if you want me too. Otherwise I'll just come in and hope talking to you will be worth my time. I am a very busy High Lord you know" I shot back.

"I'm done with the pitying crap, and as if it isn't obvious why I don't feel like my usual stunning self. And only you would pull rank right now prick" he said, and I thought I detected a hint of smile in his voice. "Come in" he added, almost as an afterthought. A smile twitched at my lips at the hint of the usual Cassian that pulled through. I pushed open the door of his room. He was sitting up, looking like he was trying to be strong. I wrinkled my nose as I walked in.

"Why does this room look like a load of shit?" I asked, referring to the mess that his room was. Piles of clothes were heaped over his floor, bandages, both clean and dirty were draped over everything. The healers were the only ones that Cassian had allowed in the room, but he obviously hadn't let them clean up anything. Dirty dishes were stacked precariously on the bedside tables with medicines strewn around them.

A smile twitched on his lips as he answered, "having no one but me in a room for a month will do that." We talked for the better part of an hour until he started yawning.

Before I left, I asked "Does this mean you will be taking visitors? Believe it or not, there are actually people who want to talk to you."

He made a vulgar gesture at me, already seeming more like himself before adding "No pricks."

"Oh, I thought I was welcome here. Well, that's what you get for 500 years of friendship." After talking to me, he looked less drained of joy, and talking to him made me feel better about Feyre.

As I was leaving, he asked in a tentative voice "How's Nesta?" I smiled to myself.

"I don't know. Dinner was the first time she and Elain came out of their room in a month."

I added as an afterthought "I'll pass on your concern though. She'll take well to that." He hissed and repeated the vulgar gesture before I closed his door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Cassian POV**

Over the next few weeks, someone from the Inner Circle was always in my room despite my vocal protests. Secretly though, I have to admit I was feeling better. As I regained my will to live, I realized how weak I had become. After bullying Mor, Rhys, Amren and Azriel into letting me train, I slowly walked into the familiar training area. I spent the whole day there, slowly walking through once easy training drills. Then I spent the next day, and then the next. Slowly, my body was getting stronger and with it the hope that my wings would heal.

 **Nesta POV**

When Rhys and Mor had initially approached me about training, I nearly hissed. They had taken that very anger and turned it into a reason for my training. If I honed that anger, I could get revenge on the very people who had turned me into…this. I had quickly embraced the idea. I wanted to be able to stop people from hurting me. I had been weak and defenseless in the past. It was not going to happen again. Now, growling as I tried to put on these fighting leathers, I realized that they had never said who was training me. I stalked through empty halls until I found my way to a training room with empty sparring rings, racks of weapons and punching bags. I froze as I noticed a figure beating up one of the punching dummies. With his back towards me, I couldn't help noticing the bandaged wings, the shirtless torso, and the swirling tattoos inked down his spine. I watched the power that had returned to him, so like the male I had met in the mortal lands, and yet so broken.

 **Cassian POV**

I felt a pair of eyes on my back as I beat the crap out of a punching dummy. Her scent, cinnamon and mint, swept over me, bringing adrenaline rushing through me as it always had. The spicy smell had fit with the anger filled girl who woke me up. Woman, I corrected myself, not girl. Bringing my mind back to the training I was doing, I hit the dummy harder, showing off just a bit. I didn't know why I cared what she thought. I know I shouldn't. After a few minutes when she just watched me, thinking me unaware of her presence, I stopped. Wiping my brow with a towel, I turned toward her, watching as her eyes sneaked down my torso. I tried not to preen, but that proved to be difficult.

"Like what you see?" I shot with a smirk. She snaked a lazy glance around the training room.

"It's not the shabbiest I've seen, but as this is the place that the High Lord trains, I thought it would be fancier." I stepped closer to her, forcing her to look up to see my face. She held her ground.

"Is that really what you wanted to say?" I challenged.

"Isn't that what you were asking?" she shot back with an infuriating smile. No one else, not even Mor got under my skin as easily as she did.

After a pause, she asked "What are you doing here and where is Rhysand?" I stiffened.

"Why wouldn't I be here? And why does it matter where Rhys is?"

"Aren't I supposed to start my training today?"

"Yes. We're going to have lots of fun." I replied with a twinkle in my eye. As horror and understanding rose in her eyes, I leaned closer, casting my eyes up and down her thin figure. "I do like what I see" I whispered to her.

That quickly, rage replaced any other emotions carefully hidden in the depths of her eyes. I almost chuckled. Sometimes, Nesta was so predictable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Nesta POV**

I was supposed to train with this irritating, know-it-all bastard?

As days passed, I indeed trained with Cassian against my will. It was not pleasant, but… it was entertaining. I had met my match in sarcasm. However, I had expected him to pass my training of as a joke, not actually take it seriously, but he seemed to realize my thirst for revenge. He didn't pass me off as incapable because of my slight frame as many in our mortal village had. He seemed fully aware of the power of my rage and seemed to do everything within his power to ignite it.

About a week after training started, I strolled into the training area right on time. Cassian had been giving me strength training exercises as opposed to actual fighting.

"Can we actually fight today?" I said by way of greeting in an icy tone.

"Wonderful to see you too Nesta" he rolled his eyes, "do you really think you are ready to fight?"

"I was born ready" came my reply.

"Keep telling yourself that" Cassian said without missing a beat.

He continued, "How about this, we try fighting, and if I think you're ready, we'll continue, but if not, then no complaints from you and you stick to my training agenda." I had been resisting the strength and endurance training every day, pestering Cassian to move on to the actual fighting.  
"Fine." After all, it was worth a try. At least I would get to start.

We took our positions facing each other. I wanted to start off strong, so I went for a punch to his stomach which he easily caught. He pulled my arm, unbalancing me. From there, he easily swept my legs out, catching me before I hit the floor. He pinned me with the entirety of his bulk, enough that my wriggling was hopeless. He offered me multiple fights, encouraging and fixing things, but every fight ended with me pinned under him. Worse, I could tell he was just toying with me, making sure he didn't hurt me. Those reflexes, the strength, the speed, I wasn't any match for the centuries old warrior. I shuddered as I realised the full destructive extent of his fighting prowess.

 **Cassian POV**

Weeks had passed since the initial fight she had demanded, and I had to admit, I had begun to look forward to training with Nesta. She had a unique personality that intrigued me. Of course, that meant that I tried to get under her skin as much as possible. Unsurprisingly, Nesta was quick on her feet, but she had no patience. As skilled as her sister might be with archery, Nesta lacked the patience to aim. However, she excelled at the hand to hand combat basics I drilled into her.

"By the Cauldron, Nesta, can't you hold your stance?" I burst out, exasperated after trying unsuccessfully to correct her stance for the umpteenth time. She kept dropping it.

"My stance is fine," she shot out as she glared at me, "move to the punching." I suppressed a smile. We were going to have some fun with this…

I darted behind her, giving her braid one quick yank before pinching her arm. Moving to her side quicker than her new Fae senses could detect, I gently shoved her shoulder before darting to her other side. She was so off balanced that she toppled over, right into my waiting arms. The panic on her face didn't decrease when she realized that she wasn't falling anymore. She scrambled to get away from me instead. I couldn't keep the hurt from flashing across my features. She stood awkwardly brushing herself off, not meeting my eyes. She looked more unguarded than I had even seen her. A thought clanged through my mind.

"Nesta, has something happened before?" I nearly growled.

"No, I've - I've just never been in anyone's arms. I - I panicked" she said, still not meeting my eyes. I didn't quite believe her, but the look on her face twisted my soul. I had to break the tension.

"So you've never been with anyone" I asked coyly in a seductive tone. Her head snapped up, as her eyes finally met mine. The strength had come back to them.

"I never met anyone worthy of me" she shot back.

"And I thought I was self centered." She smiled in a deceptively sweet way at me before punching me in the stomach.

She walked out as I wondered how she had managed to get a hit in without me blocking it. That hadn't happened in 500 years. My breath was taken away by her rather weak punch I told myself, not her lingering presence.

 **Nesta POV**

Though every muscle in my body was sore from training as usual, I brought a book up to the roof. Although I had been taught to read when I was younger, in our years of poverty we hadn't had the money to buy books when food and clothing was scarce. Now, with the time and endless books Rhys shared with me, I gobbled up the stories, living through the lives of imaginary characters instead of my own confused existence. I was in the middle of a particularly good story about a girl named Tris who was mortal and lived in a place with factions. Even though I had been waiting three days to finish this book, my mind wandered. Although he had been teasing me, was there something deep in his eyes. Did he… want me? No, I was fooling myself. I wanted to find my magical romance like all the characters in the stories I was consuming rapidly. Drawing my mind back to the book, I sat motionless, absorbed in the struggles of another. Unfortunately, after a peaceful 15 minutes, none other but Cassian came out onto the roof with a book. I sighed internally. I could wish my book goodbye.

"Why are you here?" I asked without very much attempt to sound pleasant. Hurt flashed across his face for a fraction of a second before the signature cockiness was back.

"I'm here to read" he responded, gesturing towards his book. I groaned. It was _Divergent_ the same one I was reading. Surely not a coincidence. I sighed through my nostrils this time and sat back down, pretending to read.

 **Cassian POV**

I could feel Nesta's attention on me although she was trying to hide it.

"Am I really more interesting than this wonderful book?" I asked coyly without lifting my gaze from the page.

"Of course not. What gave you that false notion?" she questioned innocently. Delight shot through me at the challenge.

"Only that you've been peeking at me the whole time and you have only read two pages in the last ten minutes." I replied.

"Have you been studying me that intently?" she shot back. I threw her a piercing gaze. How did she get to me that quickly?

"You know, you remind me of Tris" I said softly, naming the heroine of the story. She seemed surprised and I swallowed a victory smile at catching her off guard, but I did want to see her reaction.

"And I suppose that you remind yourself of Tobias?" she replied.

"Do you want me to be Tobias?" I countered with a mischievous grin.

As she shook her head and open her mouth to reply, I continued in a pinched manner, "But yes, I suppose I am Tobias."

I fell silent, rather not discussing farther, but of course she cocked her head and asked "Is that because he is a Dauntless prodigy, or because he is romantically involved with Tris?" she teased. I simply shook my head. She seemed to understand the pain and darkness that I didn't want to relive, so she fell silent as well. We sat there for an hour and a half, each reading our separate books, but enjoying the same story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Nesta POV**

About a week passed since the reading session, every day filled with training and banter with the one and only, Cassian. We were both healing. Cassian training and building his strength as the healers told him there was still hope, and I, slowly adjusting to this strange new form. We were both attending dinner every evening with the rest of the Inner Circle.

Rhys had everyone's attention when he said "I've been communicating with Feyre." When he was satisfied that we were all listening, he continued.

"She says things are going well at the Spring Court. She doesn't think anyone has figured out that she's acting. And best of all," he paused for dramatic effect "she's going to be ready to come back soon!" He looked excitedly around the table as it burst into cheers of excitement.

"She has enough information and has already planted the seeds to bring them down." Rhys seemed to burst with pride at his mate's accomplishments. Feyre had already warned the Night Court of two attacks against them, giving them ample time to form a plan and get in position. I was relieved to hear that she was okay, I had failed her too many times.

 **Cassian POV**

I hadn't seen Nesta as often lately as I had been before. I had bullied Rhys into letting me help with the plan to pull Feyre out, resulting in my spending less time training her sister. Three days later, we were ready to go to the Spring Court. No matter how hard I tried to convince Rhys to let me go, he insisted I wasn't ready. Actually, Mor was the only one going, but Rhys would be waiting at one of the borders in case anything went wrong. Rhys had filled Feyre in on the plan, and if all went well, our High Lady would be back by tomorrow.

 **Nesta POV**

While I would never admit it to the egotistical bastard, I had started to miss Cassian's sarcastic remarks as he threw himself into preparations for Feyre's rescue mission, but it all paid off as a few days later, Feyre was reunited with us. The euphoria of her success and return took a few days to wear off. Rhys seemed to be her shadow, following her wherever she went. The rest of us gaggled around her often and dinners were full of noise and laughter. I noticed a stark difference in Rhys between when she had been gone and now. He looked like joy and love had returned to his life. He looked like he was whole and life was good. When he looked at Feyre, he looked at her as if she was the best thing that had happened to the world, and maybe she was to him. The happiness… I wondered if that was the mating bond or because of how deeply they loved each other. I wondered if I would ever find that.

 **Cassian POV**

I saw my High Lord and Lady reunited. I saw the passion they shared. I saw their happiness and I wondered if it was their mating bond or their deep love. I wondered if I would ever find that.

 **Nesta POV**

I was happy here. Or I suppose, as happy as I could be while stuck in an immortal body I didn't want. I was training everyday and I felt powerful. Cassian's wings were healing well and the healers said that he might be able to fly soon, but he has to rest according to the healers so he spends all day in his room. After training I sit in his room for an hour or so. Azriel had just left, so it was just me and Cassian in the room when the healer tried to apply a salve to his wings. Cassian flinched away from her hands and looked to me, silently pleading. Why would he want me to do it? The healer had noticed the flinch, so she handed me the salve and instructed me to rub it into his wings. I approached the bed he was sitting on.

"Why don't you lay on your stomach so I can put this on your wings?" I suggested, expecting some snarky comment, so I wasn't surprised when he said "you could have just asked to see my backside you know."

"I'm sure the healer would love to when she rubs this into your wings" I replied sweetly, stroking a finger over the smooth, hard membrane. He shuddered as I looked in wonder at the material of the great wings. He flipped onto his front, spreading his wings taut for me to rub the salve in.

"Why didn't you want the healer to do this?" I asked, unscrewing the cap.

"An Illyrian's wings are extremely sensitive. We are trained to protect our wings at all costs, so we don't let people touch them. I would just rather have you do it than a healer I don't know. I trust you." I didn't know what say, so I just put some of it on my hands and started on the edge of his wings. He shuddered on each pass, especially as I worked my way to the middle, tracing all the crevices. He seemed to be trying to stay still so that it would be easier for me. I was clearly reaching more sensitive areas, so I of course moved my hands around more, causing more gasps to escape him.

Swallowing a chuckle, I asked, "does this tickle?" I stopped massaging for a minute so that he could collect himself enough to answer.

"Not really, it feels more like this" he said, twisting and raising himself with his arms so that he was level with my face. He brought his face closer to mine, stopping at my ear. I was sure he could hear my thundering heartbeat. His lips caressed the shell of my ear, gently sending a breath into it. My back arched slightly on instinct as he lowered himself once more. I finished his wings and he sat up, letting out a long breath. I noticed the scent of arousal and my gaze shot to him.

He shrugged, "I told you, wings are sensitive." I blushed as his meaning became apparent. He stretched his wings, giving them a few test flaps.

"That feels a lot better. Thanks Nesta." He said with a smile. I smiled and realizing that he might want to change, I left the room. I noticed the shocked look on his face and I realized that I hadn't smiled since being turned immortal. I hadn't smiled when he had come to visit in the mortal lands. Cassian had never seen me smile.

 **Cassian POV**

When the healer reached for my wings, I flinched. I did want to get better, but I still wouldn't let anyone touch my wings. I saw Nesta observing from her post in the room. If someone had to put salve on my wings, I wanted it to be her. I threw her pleading glance that the healer caught on. Nesta didn't seem to realize how sensitive Illyrian wings are, even after I tried replicating the feeling for her. I tried to mask my arousal and hoped she wouldn't notice the result of her touch on my wings. I stretched my wings once she was done. I didn't know what was in the salve, but having it rubbed into my wings made them feel stronger. When I thanked her, I expected her to brush it off, but she rewarded me with a smile. My breath was taken away by the way it lit up her face. She had not smiled at me once since she came here as an immortal.

 **Nesta POV**

Why a picnic? Rhys had insisted that we all go on a picnic for the day. He said that we all needed a break from monitoring the Spring Court and Hybern, and it was a beautiful day. Well, this might not be bad.

He took us to a shaded spot by the river where it flowed through a clearing in a small forest. We ate and laughed together, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Once the afternoon came, Amren stretched herself out in the grass, dozing in the sun. Mor challenged Azriel to see who could climb higher into a nearby tree and Az, unable to resist that radiant smile, agreed. Feyre and Rhys went of to a secluded portion of the river to 'swim', leaving me and Cassian alone together, well, with a sleeping Amren.

"Do you want to swim too?" he asked with a sly grin.

"No thanks. I don't know how to swim." I don't know why I added the last part, but I had never learned as a child. He seemed like he was about to say something, but seemed to decide the better of it and closed his mouth.

After a minute though, he said "I can teach you sometime if you want."

Before I could protest, he went on "I have an idea for something fun we could do." I glanced at him suspiciously as he stood up and brushed invisible dust off his clothes. He looked at me nervously before offering me his hand. Now I was really wondering where this was going. I stood up as well, dropping his hand. He smiled at me before picking me up bridal style and launching us into the air. It all happened so fast I only registered screaming as we took off smoothly.

Once I got over my initial shock, I shouted to Cassian over the wind, "You idiot, you'll hurt your wings. You aren't supposed to fly."

Cassian simply looked down at me in his arms and said "The healers cleared me to fly. I've been practicing for the last week. I wanted to surprise you." He looked so happy that I laughed, open and carefree.

Cassian look startled, "You're so beautiful Nesta" he breathed, still devouring my face with his eyes. My cheeks reddened. With a little wicked grin, Cassian tucked in his wings, letting us drop into a free fall. A breathless scream flew out of me as instinct had me throwing my arms around his neck. Four wild heartbeats later, he flourished his wings open, caught a current and soared back upwards. Taking a deep breath, he pressed me up against him a little harder and I looked up at him. Shock and surprise took over his face as he stared down at me for an eternal moment. The moment over, the surprise vanished and his eyes were full of delight from being able to fly once more, and he looked more at home with the restless wind than I had seen him anywhere else.

 **Cassian POV**

I suddenly realised it, and my whole world clarified. Everything fell into place, it explained so much. So we soared over the world, carefree, after that shocking realization hit. Her face was flushed, hair whipping out of its braid. She was limp in my arms, her own arms wrapped around my neck as we swooped up and down, soaring so high, that Velaris looked like a toy set, the buildings like wooden blocks, the Fae like ants. And after a wonderful hour, we landed back at the picnic site.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi everyone. I'm going to try and finish this up before ACOWAR comes out, so I'm on a time crunch. Please review to let me know what you think of it.**

 **Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sarah J Maas.**

Nesta POV

I loved it. The flying. Even after two days, the thrill of swooping over the city hadn't left me. It made me feel powerful to be so high above the world. I thought that swimming might be similar, so after finding out from Mor that House of Wind did indeed have a pool, I changed into a swimsuit I had bought in the city and wandered through the halls. Once Cassian had brought up swimming, I realised that not knowing may be a weakness in the future, one that I should get rid of. Of course, when I walked onto the balcony housing the lavish pool, Cassian was already there. He was soaking in the hot tub with his wings underwater. I hadn't seen him as much as usual. He had taken to the sky. He was making his wings stronger most of the day, so Azriel had taken over my training. He was quiet and powerful. Cassian seemed surprised and slightly… nervous? Why would he be nervous upon seeing me?

"Hey Cass"

"Hi" He sounded kind of breathless.

"Why are you here?" I asked bluntly as was my style. He winced and I internally cursed myself. He obviously had something bothering him.

"The healers told me to soak my wings if they were sore after flying." That could be it, but that wasn't all that was troubling him. Since I liked being given space, I decided not to push him. Besides, it was probably something dumb anyway.

"Why are you here?" he asked with what seemed like genuine curiosity.

"Well, I was going to try and teach myself to swim, but maybe I'll join you instead."

"No, you should definitely learn to swim. I'll teach you." He heaved himself out of the hot tub. Concerned for his wings, I protested, but he tucked them to his back, mounted the diving board, and executed a flawless dive into the pool.

"Show off" I muttered, climbing in using the ladder.

"What was that, sweetheart?" I simply rolled my eyes at the fake curiosity in his tone and also at the nickname. He knew what I had said. Okay, first, you need to learn to float. He supported me while I floated on my front and back. I tried not to focus on the feeling of his hands. Eventually, we moved to me blowing bubbles, rolling my eyes to whole time. By the time the "lesson" was over, we had spent an hour and a half and I could swim short distances with a sloppy stroke. We both climbed out of the pool, and I stiffly thanked Cassian before we parted for our rooms.

Cassian POV

I was starting to realize that I had feelings for that impossible woman, but I had to keep reminding myself that she may not have the same feelings for me. She might not want me as I wanted her. That made it so much harder to face her when she walked onto the balcony housing the pool.

This changes nothing Cassian I had to keep reminding myself. I kept feeling that pull towards her, but that didn't mean that she felt it too.

Nesta POV

It was about a week after the first swimming lesson, and now my routine was training in the morning, and swimming in the evening. Cassian would fly in the afternoon. Sometimes he'd take me along. Sometimes I strolled through Velaris with Mor, who I was warming up too, sometimes by myself or with Elain. Sometimes I would just read or talk with Feyre. I was enjoying my days and my nightmares had lessened significantly, but they sometimes appeared once more.

I tumbled into bed, exhausted from training and swimming.

I was struggling against the men holding me, shivering from the cool air seeping in through my thin nightgown. I screamed as I watched them drag Elain forward, shoving her into that damned Cauldron. It spit her out onto the cold marble and that red haired faery went to her. The men pulled me to the Cauldron and I thrashed wildly. Feyre looked petrified but unable to help and Cassian. His wings were shredded, but still, he reached out for me. His hand was the last thing I saw before I was dunked under, as left behind a promise. The promise held by the one finger I pointed at the King. Then the water filled my lungs, burning and freezing at the same time. I was choking, but still, I struggled towards the surface. The water swallowed my cry of desperation.

Someone was shaking me, begging me to wake up, so I pushed through the murky hold of sleep. Gasping awake as I sat upright suddenly, I bumped heads with Cassian, who had been leaning over me. I studied the shirtless chest, the mended wings, the mercilessly beautiful face that was twisted in pain as he rubbed his head. I tried to ask if he was okay, but bile rose. Pushing him aside, I sped towards the attached bathing room, throwing up repeatedly into the toilet. After a moment, warm hands held back my hair, a strong, calloused hand rubbing my back. The familiar hands were Cassian's and after I had finished retching, he handed me a glass of water to rinse out my mouth.

I sat with my back against the bathtub, and he took a seat next to me, wings tucked tight to him. His hair was mussed as if he had jumped out of bed and run to my room. I leaned onto his shoulder even though he was shirtless. He was barely breathing.

"How did you know that I was having a nightmare?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

He seemed hesitant to answer, but eventually he said "I just kind of felt that you were in trouble, so I rushed over." I could tell that he was holding something back, but I was too tired to pry.

"What was your nightmare about?" he asked gently, as if coaxing a wild animal.

"We were all back in Hybern, the King was forcing Elain and I into the Cauldron."

He seemed hesitant, but eventually he said "I'm sorry I didn't protect you from the King. I failed you, and I broke my promise." My heart broke because I see that he actually believed that. I sat up, facing him.

"You didn't fail me. Even when your wings were shredded, you reached for me. You were still fighting, you were still trying. Your hand was the last thing I saw before I went under." I could see how much my words meant to him. I yawned, leaning on him once more. He carefully stood up, lifting me into his arms. He carried me to my bed and tucked me into the cool sheets. He was about to turn away when I grabbed his arm.

"Stay with me." My sleep addled brain somehow thought this was a good idea.

"You'll regret that in the morning" he said with a smile. I kept pulling on his arm.

"Please?"

"Wow, I don't think I've ever heard that word from you. It must be the sleepiness. If it means so much to you I will."

He walked around the bed to the other side. He laid down, facing me. I don't know why I did it, but I scooted towards him and after some hesitation, he wrapped his arms around me.

"Good night Nesta" I heard him whisper before I drifted off to sleep.

Cassian POV

I had fallen into a fitful sleep when I felt terror flowing into me. Realizing that it must be Nesta, I had pulled on a pair of pants, not bothering with a shirt as I rushed through familiar hallways. Without hesitation, I yanked open her door and I moved towards her bed. She was thrashing about, completely in the thrall of the nightmare.

"Nesta, wake up, it's a nightmare" I shook her, begging her to wake up. After she woke, threw up, and I tucked her into bed, she asked me to stay. I wanted too, she had no idea how much it pained me to leave her to the mercy of the dreams, but I knew it was her sleep addled brain posing the idea. I knew she would regret it later, but she was so adamant, I gave up, getting into her bed. She snuggled closer to me and my arms went around her instinctively. We both fell into sleep and didn't wake for the rest of the night.

"Good morning, sweetheart" I chuckled as I said.

She looked really scared for a minute when she found me in her bed, but then the events of last night came back to her. I expected her to shout at me for being in her bed, or not knowing better than to comply with her sleepy requests, but I was pleasantly surprised when she instead thanked me for staying with her instead of leaving her with her nightmares.

Nesta POV

I woke up with Cassian in my bed and for a terrifying moment, I tried to remember why he was there. I remembered the nightmare then, and my request. It was sweet of him to stay with me I realised. After thanking him for not leaving me to my nightmares, I turned back over and went back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi. Sorry if this sounds rushed. We're getting to the end of the story soon! I'm debating whether or not I should add one more chapter. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: The characters all belong to Sarah J Maas.**

 **Cassian POV**

Life went on. Nesta improved at fighting and swimming. My wings strengthened. I ignored the draw I felt towards her, instead thinking of the upcoming celebration. It was almost Starfall, the first since Feyre had become the High Lady, the first since her sisters had been turned Fae.

 **Nesta POV**

Mor told me that tomorrow was Starfall, whatever that was. She only said it was a special celebration only in the Night Court. I wasn't particularly excited, seeing as she refused to tell me what it was about. Instead, my thoughts were focused on Cassian. I had finally faced my thoughts, admitting to myself that I felt a pull towards Cassian. As irritating as he might be, I had grown to care for him sometime in the last few months. But I reminded myself that he might not feel the same way for me.

Today was Starfall and it was apparently a big deal because Cerridwen came to dress me. I was wearing a floor length black dress which clung to my body, showing off my figure. Silver embroidery graced the neckline and climbed from the floor to brush my thighs. My hair had been twisted into some complicated braid and earrings that brushed my neck completed my outfit. I had to say, I looked damn good. I strode into the main room which had been cleared to turn into a dance floor.

Dusk was approaching rapidly and there was apparently going to be a party in about an hour. I had hoped to find Mor or one of my sisters in the room, but they were apparently getting dressed. I only found Cassian, leaning on the railing of the adjoining balcony. He turned when I entered the room, letting out a low whistle as his eyes scanned my form. My eyes wouldn't stay off of him either. He wore a dark, fitted shirt also with silver embroidery and dark pants. We could be a matching pair, and I suddenly wondered if Cerridwen planned this or if it was coincidence. His eyes returned to mine and he looked a little lost in that moment. However, he soon buried this.

"Do you want to go flying before everyone gets here?"

"I would love too." He looked shocked by how polite my response was and I wondered if I was actually so rude as to surprise people when I wasn't. I realized that I was quite rude, but I had been improving lately. I didn't feel as full of hate and misery as before either. What had happened?

I didn't have time to reflect as Cassian scooped me up, launching us off the balcony before unfurling his wings and sweeping into a current. My stomach dropped as we shot higher and higher, until it was just me and Cassian in the roaring wind, Velaris left far behind. We swooped through the darkening sky, for a long time, Cassian holding me closer to him than was probably strictly necessary.

"Shouldn't we go back and attend the party?" I asked after a while.

"The party's not really the important part. We don't have to unless you want to."

"What is Starfall about?"

"You'll see. And there's no better place to see it than from here."

My puzzlement must have shown because he chuckled. After a few minutes, I saw a bright light shoot through the sky. It looked almost like a falling star. Two more followed, then five, then many more. Minutes later, the sky was filled with them and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"That sweetheart, is what Starfall is about. The beauty of night, the joy of life" Cassian whispered right into my ear. Then, without warning, we went into a free fall and I flung my arms around his neck as a scream flew out. Cassian simply laughed, clutching me tight. Many seconds later, his wings extended, slowing us down before we landed gently on the same balcony we had taken off from.

The room was filled with people now, talking in clusters, gazing at the twisting stars, and dancing. Cassian asked if I wanted to dance, but I just shook my head, eyes still glued to the show the stars were putting on. I turned to look at him only when I felt him take my hand, gently pulling me up.

"I know a better place to watch. It's quieter." I complied, allowing myself to be led to a balcony higher in the building. The music playing below had almost faded here, and it was once again just me and him. I sat on one of the chairs on the balcony, once again enjoying the stars. I startled when he spoke again.

"Nesta, can I kiss you?" I just stared at him.

"I want to know how it feels. Just once." There was such compassion in his eyes. I knew he had been warring with himself about whether to even ask. And I knew that he would back off if I said no. I turned to face him, preparing myself.

"Okay" I whispered.

He looked at me with longing in his eyes as he closed the distance between us. I forgot how to breathe. I was only the lightest kiss before he pulled away, scanning my face, but it had awoken me and my blood heated. But damn him, he just turned away and continued to enjoy the stars.

"Why?" I asked when I finally had my voice back.

"Do you really want to know?" was his reply.

"Yes." He finally turned back towards me.

"Because I love you."

I was completely unprepared as the words swept the world from beneath me. I once again felt that pull towards him. I didn't know what to do, so I pulled on that thread, on that pull.

His face paled.

" You felt that." It wasn't a question. He simply nodded.

"What is it?" I asked him. He was silent.

"Are you sure you want to know?" he finally queried. I nodded and braced myself.

"It's a mating bond" he said softly, watching my reaction.

I didn't say anything. We were … mates. Feyre had told me about the mating bond. We were equals, ultimately matched. It explained so much, and so little. I didn't know what to feel.

"I shouldn't have told you" he decided, turning away again, hurt and sadness present in his voice. His shoulders slumped and it was the most exposed I had ever seen him.

"I'm glad you told me" I told him quietly.

I knew he wouldn't push me about it, so I told him, "I just don't know what to feel right now. I'm going to think about all of this."

I knew I should have stayed and comforted him, especially given that he had revealed so much of his feelings to me, but I turned away. I realized that the sounds had died away from downstairs and that the sun was starting to peep over the horizon. I had spent the whole night with Cassian.

 **Cassian POV**

I stared at the sunrise, unfeeling. I shouldn't have told her. I shouldn't have let her into my heart where she could so easily break it. I turned from the pinks and golds streaking the sky, a mockery of my feelings. I walked to my room numbly and tumbled into bed without undressing.

I awoke at noon, but stayed in my room. I couldn't face the world right now. Late in the evening I heard a crisp knock on the door accompanied by Rhys' voice asking to be let in. I might as well talk to him. Sighing, I stood from the bed where I had been staring numbly at the ceiling and unlocked the door. Rhys strode in, first opening the blinds blocking out light, then sitting on my bed.

"Why are you sulking?" he immediately asked.

"You're in a good mood" I grumbled. He smirked at me.

"And you're not" he shot back.

Sighing, I explained to him what I'd revealed to Nesta last night.

"Believe it or not, Nesta locked herself up in her room, and Feyre has gone to try and console her."

I just flopped onto the bed, burying my face into the pillow.

"Relax, remember what Feyre did when she found out that I'm her mate? I'm pretty sure yours is doing better than that."

I groaned.

"You're so dramatic. Just give it time. This will work out."

"You don't know that."

"I do"

"How?" I demanded.

"You forget that I'm the most powerful High Lord in the history of Prythian."

"Oh please."

Serious again, Rhys said "Just trust me on this one."

I ushered him out of the room.

 **Rhys POV**

I met back with Feyre in our room.

"How did talking to Nesta go?" I asked.

"She wouldn't let me in and she ignored me until I left."

"Ok… Well, I talked to Cassian. Turns out that he and Nesta are mates and that he told her that he loves her last night."

Feyre didn't look the least bit surprised.

"Aren't you surprised?"

"No" she answered. At my confused look, she continued.

"I knew they were mates, or at least I suspected. Didn't you?" It was her turn to be puzzled.

"Um… No…" She just sighed and shook her head.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi everyone. We're so close to ACOWAR! I'm extremely excited but also kind of scared. This is the last chapter of this fic. I'm thinking of starting a FeyRhys one, but I haven't decided. I hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: All characters belong to Sarah J Maas.**

 **Feyre POV**

It was very obviously time for me to play matchmaker. Cassian and Nesta had ventured out of their rooms after a few days, but were still avoiding each other. Sighing, I decided to do something about it. Rhys jumped out of my way when he saw the determined look on my face as I stormed through the House of Wind. I found Cassian and grabbing his arm, I dragged him through the halls until we reached the dining room where Nesta was with Mor. I grabbed Nesta with my other hand and before either could protest, I winnowed to the cabin in the mountains where I had accepted my mating bond. I left them both at the door before waving and winnowing away.

 **Cassian POV**

Of course.

If Rhys knew, then of course he had told Feyre. And of course she would see it as her duty to do something. I noticed that Nesta was shivering, so I opened the door and waited for her to enter. She met my eyes, then went in. I followed. She had stopped a few steps in, gobbling up the paint on the walls. The painting Feyre had done when she had been up here.

"Feyre painted all this." I felt her attention slide to me, so I continued.

"Rhys was badly injured when she found out that she and Rhys were mates. She left him with us before Mor brought her here because she needed some space. I think she was up here for over a week, painting. Mor wouldn't tell Rhys where she had taken Feyre. He nearly went crazy as he was healing. As soon as he was able to fly, he took off, searching for her. He found her here and she accepted the bond."

"I wonder why Feyre brought us here" she said, sarcasm dripping from every word. I had to hold back a smile at the sound of her voice, at how normal she sounded when she was being sarcastic.

"So, would you like to beat around the bush, or should we get straight to it?" I asked with mock politeness. She rolled her eyes.

"I haven't decided." My smile faded.

"I mean about the beating around the bush" she continued with a wicked grin, "I've decided about the mating bond."

My heart stuttered.

Instead of telling me her verdict, the decision which would change my life, she hummed and walked over to the couch. She studied the Illyrian wings Feyre had painted on the mantle. After a moment's hesitation, I joined her on the couch.

Looking at her sideways, I demanded, "Well sweetheart, what's the verdict?"

"I can't very well do anything about the mating bond, I guess it's there either ways…" My heart plummeted.

"But, I do love you, so I guess it's good that the mating bond is there." I stared at her open mouthed, as her words crashed through my head and I wasn't able to make sense of them one way or another. I only registered her lips on mine before I snapped into action. I pulled her closer to me, deepening the kiss. It was fast, and desperate, unlike the one on Starfall. After minutes, we both pulled away, breathing ragged. I stood up and lifted Nesta.

"Put me down!" she protested, but I paid no heed. I carried her into the kitchen, putting her down in one of the chairs. I stood in front of her.

Nervously, I started, "Nesta, it's customary for the female to offer their mate food when to symbolize acceptance of the bond, but I would like to cook for you instead."

"Nope" she said casually. She stood up.

"To hell with tradition. We are both going to cook, and then we're both going to eat" she continued with determination. She walked to the fridge.

"Should we make soup?" she asked.

I just stared at her. I hadn't met this almost playful side of Nesta. I then realized that she had lowered the barriers she usually kept up. She had lowered them for me. I was seeing the true Nesta now.

So I moved towards her, my mate. We both cooked, and when we were done, we served each other. I looked at her as I took my first bite, as she took her first bite.

 **Nesta POV**

Before Feyre had dragged us to this isolated cabin, I had already made up my mind. I loved him, and I was lucky that he was my mate. I just didn't know how to tell him. Feyre made it much easier for me, and then I decided to have some fun with it. Eating that soup with him, my heart bursting, I realized that I had found that magical storybook romance I had been looking for.

He smiled at me and I knew then that I was his and he was mine. And it would be like that forever.

 **Cassian POV**

I am hers and she is mine. And it's going to be like that forever.


End file.
